Thursday, February 26, 2009

Final Days and Funeral Details from LuAnne

Hello everyone ~

From myself, Blake & Bryce we would like to say how touched we are by all the love and support surrounding us ~ thank you all for the kind words you have sent our way. It's all helping to ease the pain of our VERY sad loss :)

I just thought I would fill in the last days of Brian's journey for you all & let you know that he went peacefully ~ I still find it so hard to believe it was that short :(

Towards the end of last week the Doctors had decided that Brian's infection was under control and that he was ready to fulfill his wishes of coming off the ventilator. Because he had just had the "peg tube" inserted on the Thursday they thought they would wait till after the weekend to remove the ventilator. Although he had some discomfort from the feeding tube he was happy to have had it inserted (I'm sure he gained a few lbs) ~ we told him to think of steak and potatoes as the bag of "shake" flowed into him from the bag hanging near by.

Towards the end of last week Brian was becoming very good at communicating through his "word board" - Or was it we were getting better at figuring out what it was he was trying to tell us? :) None-the-less we had a few great days where he was clear of all sedations and he was the Dad/hubby/friend we all knew & we enjoyed our time together.

Bryce had a play-off game in Listowel last Sat. so he and I headed off to the game. That evening we returned to the hospital with another "game winning puck" ~ Bryce got a smile and a thumbs up from Dad :)

On Sunday Blake was invited by friends to go skiing for the day ~ when he arrived home the boys and I headed up to the hospital for about an hour visit......who would have known this would be their last visit with their Dad :( (ok sorry, I had to get a kleenex myself ~ my eyes are beginning to feel like they have sandpaper in them)

We had been told the ventilator would probably come out on Monday, so I arrived earlier that morning as I knew Brian would be very anxious. When I arrived he said, I'm ready to get going with the whole process. We waited for his Mom & brother to arrive & then the RT's extubated him to the Bipap ~ (sister Jen arrived shortly after that). We all took turns sitting with him throughout the day. He told us to be sure and watch his breathing should he fall asleep ~ although everyone did their best to assure him he would be fine he was so scared he would stop breathing he chose to stay awake most of the time :(

He didn't want me to leave, so I spent the night with him on Monday. Blake had a play-off hockey game that night so I called after the game to find out the result. Dad gave a thumbs up to hear that Blake had another "game winning puck" for him!!!

As the night went on I could tell Brian was struggling, I did my best to keep him comforted. Around 2:30 in the morning he was beginning to fail ~ the nurses asked if I wanted to have someone come to be with me I knew what they were trying to say :( Although so many had said, "anytime for anything" you struggle to call people at 2:30 am. I called my dear friend Leslie and she came to sit with me in the wee hours. Thanks Les (and for checking in with me daily just to make sure we were all ok!!).

Brian and I had had a conversation earlier in the evening and he expressed he'd had enough & had given it his best go ~ this is no way to live he said, who could blame him! He was still fighting but knowing those wishes the nurses began to ease his fear & suffering by giving him some meds......if only he could relax they thought it might help his breathing. He went for hours and around 5am I sent a message to brother David on what was happening. David and his Mom were at the hospital to be with me around 6am.......Brian was still hanging in there at that time. He had such loving care from his nurses who kept him comfortable along the way. His Mom, brother & I knew the end was near and never left his side. He knew we were there & I know that helped to ease his fears.

His journey ended as he peacefully slipped away in his sleep about 10:45am :(

During Brian's twelve day hospital stay he was blessed by many visitors ~ thank you to all who were able to take the time to come say hello!! I, too, was blessed with tons of support during my many hours spent in the ICU ~ we managed to fill the waiting room more than once! A special thanks to my great friend Judy who arrived from Michigan on the Sunday for the Benefit & is still here with the boys & I today ~ she is heading home tomorrow for a few days & will return with her hubby Hal for the funeral.

Here is the Obit that will be placed in the papers on Sat:

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Brian Andrew Bottrill on Tuesday, February 24th at McMaster University Medical Center after a 5 month battle with ALS. Brian was in his 53rd year. He will be fondly remembered and missed by his loving wife LuAnne, sons Blake and Bryce, Mother and Step-Father Pam Daniels (nee Morris) and Dave Daniels, Siblings Jennifer Bottrill, David and Tanya Bottrill, Brothers and Sister in-Laws David and Lynn Niedenthal, Craig Niedenthal and Tracy Hansen, Mother in-Law Lucy Niedenthal, nieces and nephews Eric and Cole McKinnon, Krista and Heather Niedenthal, Matthew Hansen and Ryan Niedenthal, Loulou Bonhomme, cousins Bert, Nan, Erin and Grant Spencer, Debbie Parmenter, Patty Barnes, Sandy Cuthbert and Uncle and Aunt Bob and Sue Parmenter. Brian was predeceased by his father Brian Eric Bottrill in 1981, in 2007 by his sister, Joan Weatherhead (nee Bottrill) and in 1997 by his father in-law Charles William Niedenthal.

He will also be missed by many friends and extended family at his summer cottage in Oliphant ON, Lodge members at the International Order of Odd Fellows, Valley City Lodge 117 in Dundas, and business colleagues and clients in Brantford ON where he owned and operated Jamieson's L.H.M. Ltd.

Brian was a loving father and strong participant in the Dundas community, giving his time and coaching support in the Dundas Minor Hockey Association where both his son's played.

We wish to thank all the many friends and family who donated their endless support during Brian's illness and to acknowledge the wonderful community of Dundas, all his friends at the IOOF Valley City Lodge 117, and the Dundas Minor Hockey Association.

We also wish to thank the Doctors, RT's, Social Workers and Staff at McMaster University Medical Center ICU for all their care and compassion.

Visitation will be held at Cattell, Eaton and Chambers Funeral Home, 53 Main Street, Dundas, Monday March 2nd 2-4 & 7-9 A memorial service will be held at St. James Anglican Church, 137 Melville St, Dundas Tuesday March 3rd @ 11am

8 comments:

  1. Auntie Lu,

    Thanks for sharing all of this with us. I know it was a tough thing to do.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the boys.

    See you soon,
    Uncle Al, Lena, Doug and Dean

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  2. Dear Lu,
    Our heartfelt condolences to you, Blake, Bryce and all of the Bottrills and Niedenthals. The strength and courage demonstrated by BA and your family throughout the past months and the courtesy you’ve shown by maintaining a blog so that those, near and far, could keep a vigil of BA’s health is a true testament to you all and serves as an example to those who are touched by you.
    Being able to read the entries of events and people surrounding your life has been a strong reminder of the quality of the spirit and the value that you put to it. The outpouring of admiration by friends and family is a reflection of the content of BA’s character.
    Thank you. You continue to be in our thoughts.

    Peter Miller and family

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  3. Lynn: My name is Craig Niedenthal (yes there is another one) and I live in Birmingham, Ala. I am sure in some way we are kin. Your post came to me through Google Alert for my name. I knew there was another Craig Niedenthal, crazy that it is, in MN. Anyway, more importantly, I read your post and even though I did not know you or your family, my heart broke just a little. I admire your strength and your husband's strength and wish you peace and tranquility in the days ahead. Be strong and know that you are loved. Being with your husband in those last hours I know was so important. I did the same thing last year when my dad after many years decided to end dialysis and go to hospice. Being there with him in those last hours and days meant so much and made his passing in some way peaceful for me. Please take care and may God bless you and your family.

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  4. Sorry to hear about Brian (I am Craig's first cousin and heard about this the same way Craig did, via Google). In the last stages of his life it sounds like he was surrounded by some really great and caring people, we should all be so lucky. Best wishes and God bless.

    -Jack Niedenthal

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  5. I wish to extend my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. My father, Richard Bottrill, was Brian (senior's) cousin. We met Pam and Brian shortly before Brian's death in 1981. I so enjoyed spending time with Joan at our cousin Blair's wedding. Please know that you are in my prayers and I would enjoy meeting you.
    With love, Karen Bottrill Bedell... Fenton, Michigan

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  6. Sorry to hear of your loss. just thouight I would you and the boys know I was thinking of them.

    Brian Swanson

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  7. Thank you LuAnne for being so courageous to share your lives with us through the blog. It must have been rather difficult to make the last few postings. Yes, BA even touched his extended family in Saginaw Michigan by having such a wonderful wife and sister-in-law to maintain the blog. My thoughts are with you and the boys.

    Janet Bottrill Ader

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  8. Hi LuAnne, I have not had the sincere pleasure of meeting you or your fine young sons. I am an old friend and neighbour of Brian's (and the Bottrill family) from many years back. I have not seen Brian for well over 20 years but my memories of Brian are fond. Every time I think of Brian, what immediately comes to my remembrance is that great big, gregarious, and wonderful smile of his. He would light up a room with that smile and the hearty chuckle that often accompanied it. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your sons, and also with Brian's Mom, Jenny, and David. God bless you LuAnne.

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